that awkward moment when…

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from

http://thededucer.tumblr.com/post/17330582800/that-awkward-moment-when

“that awkward moment when you gently question someone’s use of the ableist word “lame”, and suggest that they have a look at this post over at FWD, and their only response is to delete their original comments. errrrrr.”
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Seriously.
i think sometimes folks do it because they feel embarrassed, or maybe they think it’s not ok to keep a post up there once its been called out, maybe they don’t want anyone to get offended, who knows. The point is, getting kindly, softly called on something needn’t be so embarrassing that it stops you from working on it. Its a learning moment. Try to sit with it, let it be what it is. And don’t do it again.
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5 thoughts on “that awkward moment when…

  1. It sure can be, i agree. Sometimes, depending on how it's done, it can be so embarrassing that someone shuts down on the topic entirely.
    But in the example above (which wasnt even me for a change lol, and wasnt from a person with disabilities), a simple, kind suggestion to look at the link was offered. i saw it, and i remember how it went, it was kind and simple and not judgemental in any way. If something like that is going to shut someone down so badly that they can't move forward, well, i dont know what to say.

    If we cant even help one another move forward, what should we do? At some point, we gotta take responsibility for ourselves and our reactions, and if we're truly interested in being good to one another, we'll do some work in areas we dont understand. Its not always easy, but this stuff isnt easy.

  2. Yeah, I think I agree with what you're saying here. I've been in situations like that where the perpetrator realizes that something they said was unethical/ablist, so they completely delete the post and the comments. I think that some people who do it may be well-meaning and sometimes it may even be a good idea. However, I don't think it should be a knee-jerk reaction that doesn't even acknowledge that something problematic occurred. I'd rather see someone leave the comment up and then update it or follow it up with some sort of admission that it shouldn't have been said.

  3. Yeah, I think I agree with what you're saying here. I've been in situations like that where the perpetrator realizes that something they said was unethical/ablist, so they completely delete the post and the comments. I think that some people who do it may be well-meaning and sometimes it may even be a good idea. However, I don't think it should be a knee-jerk reaction that doesn't even acknowledge that something problematic occurred. I'd rather see someone leave the comment up and then update it or follow it up with some sort of admission that it shouldn't have been said.

  4. i particularly dislike it when theres been a lot of talking about it. ive seen folks delete really amazing threads because they didnt want to be seen as having not known something, and i think thats sad. it means that the next person doesnt get the benefit of the discussion, and means that the people who are on the shit-end of whatever he discussion was about have to (unless they disengage entirely) do the whole damn thing over again.

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