A well-intended PSA for my well-intended friends/ lovers/ comrades, who are actually fucking precious to me despite my abrasiveness over this stuff, and i say this with love and humility and rage and respect:
My comments here and elsewhere about ableism, including this one, are (almost) never about one single isolated and unusual incident/ event/ comment. That is a very simple truth-reality of living in this world as the kind of gimp i am: It is (almost) never one single isolated and unusual incident/ event/ comment. You may have no idea how much i WISH it was.
Some people call these daily ongoing hurts “microaggressions”.
i call them “micromacroandeverythinginbetweenandbeyondaggressions”.
i call them “oppression”.
And when you engage in these behaviours or believe yourself to be somehow outside of them or the impact they have on gimps or on our various connections, it breaks my fucking heart and does not make me feel like i can trust sharing the *real* deep down shit with you. It is really hard for me to speak to it over and over and over again, and it breaks my fucking heart that it is only when i and other gimps do speak up that it stands any chance of changing at all.
People who are fucked by this ableist system should not be the ones who always have to do this work, and we shouldn’t have to always be wracking our brains to come up with “better”, “nicer”, more “rational”, “kinder”, more “constructive” ways (based in privileged able-bodied notions of better, nicer, rational, kinder, constructive) to speak to it. We just shouldn’t.
But let me tell you something and be very clear about it:
When we do speak to it? You should (generally speaking) be thanking your lucky stars that we do, because it is a fucking gift. It is a gift. Whether or not you choose to experience it that way is your choice, your privilege. Literally.