If you still think you can get around making your events variously accessible by saying it’s too expensive / too time consuming / too energy sucking to do so;

if you think that accessibility has to be “balanced” (a balance which, oddly, always comes out against that accessibility… somehow, magically!) with other seemingly more important factors/ considerations;

if you think you can do any of this, on your own, without building meaningful connections with those whom it directly affects and/or who have direct knowledge/ experience/ skills/ resources to make it happen,

if you think that despite your events not being accessible that you should be able to freely use buzzwords like “anti-oppressive”, “all-bodies” and even “radical” to describe them, 

and if you think there is no relationship between all of these points, you have simply. not. understood. So let me be clear with some don’ts before we can ever get into some do’s: 

Don’t come to me asking about accessibility AFTER you have booked a space. Ever.

Don’t tell me that if you make it accessible in one way it may impact accessibility of another kind and therefore you can’t do any of it.

Don’t say you want to hear my ideas then toss them when they are inconvenient.

Don’t tell me to give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re trying when everything up to that point has shown that it never pans out to be wise to simply believe you are taking this stuff in. 

Don’t tell me that able-bodied folks shouldn’t also be consistently asking about accessibility (and you at the same time claim to be an ally to disabled folks!), because folks so rarely pay attention to gimps when we ask about it — who else is left to speak up but the people with privilege? You are not being oppressed by being asked about accessibility.

Don’t tell me it’s too expensive/ time consuming/ energy sucking to deal with. Living without access is what is expensive/ time consuming/ energy sucking. 

Don’t tell me the demarcations of a conversation about my own body or bodies like mine, do not tell me what the other “factors to be considered” are when you realistically have little to no intention of shifting them.

Don’t tell me that you are working on it when you continue to do the same things over and over and over, sometimes over decades. 

Don’t try to tell me that even though you have seem to have no clue about accessibility, you can somehow make all this shit better (white knighting, anyone?) without forging connections with the people who know.

Don’t tell me your event is anti-oppressive and radical when it is so clearly not.

And if you don’t like being told these basic things, have some decency and don’t bring it to me. Just. Don’t.

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