briefly on meds and death and the state

This is a basic reality for me, not a statement about what anyone else “should” do or think about it:

If i don’t take medications, i die. It’s that basic for me. No, there is no alternative to what i take. No there is nothing else that i have tried or that i have heard of (which is, just to be clear, a hell of a lot) that will work for my combination of stuff. No, i’m not interested in being told about cures (there isn’t one, by the way), no salves, balms, soups, super veggies, drops, meditations, magic or anything else that may very well have worked for you. For other things i deal with, if i don’t take medications i lose small and huge chunks of myself. Medications keep me alive, they help me stay present, they allow me to be here, flawed creature that i am.

i have huge philosophical and political problems with that, for sure. As i have a problem with the fact that i have to rely on a state which i despise with literally every fibre of my being for basic subsistence, including these medications. But such is life in a fucked up capitalist system. And despite at one point in my life deciding that if the destruction of the state that i dream of actually happened, it would most likely mean -at least in the initial stages- that people like me will die off quicker than some others and that that is just the way it is (as many folks decide about “other” people right now, in “other” places right now), i’m actually not ok with being left behind because of my body, not ok with any of us being left behind because of our bodies and the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Not in some future state-free, oppression-free existence, and not now. The one thing i, you, we have any measure of control over is now. So don’t leave us the fuck out. Build a culture where variously disabled folks are not left behind. Build capacity to support one another. This shit is basic as death. Like, literally.

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