ableism and the distance it creates

Was chatting with a friend today in part about political, community burn-out and how to deal with it. We talked about periodically going into hibernation, and what that can mean. One of the things it can mean for me as a disabled person is that there ends up being just that much more distance between me and my communities, and that is scary when there’s already such a divide.

It can already be really difficult to access the kinds of spaces i want to be in, to be part of those spaces, because of ableism (not to mention how discussion of ableism often gets called out as “identity politics!!!!!” when it’s just sharing real shit), and it’s not simply about them being physically inaccessible to me. There’s a culture of ableism that gets built up over time, one which excludes so many of us, one that seeks (sometimes, occasionally) to fix itself but so often stops short of real, deep, change.

And when i burn out and/or need to take space, it means that much more time away, not building trust, connections, having fun as well as talking serious shit (no, i don’t always want to be talking about accessibility. That’s not all i’m about or have to offer). It means it feels like the only times i’m doing stuff, it revolves around access, and i’m so fricken tired of it. As an anarchist i find these constraints, this divide, this ongoing repetition of fucked up predictable patterns, unacceptable.

i’m happy to hibernate, it can be really important, but what i don’t like is the intense realities of the isolation i go through because of the burn out from constantly having to work so hard just to get in the door, and rarely seeing anything resembling the kinds of anarchist community i desire.

i’m curious to know what sorts of things you do to keep your heart going, not necessarily to be doing stuff all the time every minute, but to maintain connection, trust, community?